Adele and Rihanna won’t release albums

Like teenagers with a piece of coursework, Adele and Rihanna have been saying, “I’ll finish it later, mum,” for the last three years.

After once releasing seven albums in seven years, Rihanna’s turned her attention to other things – fashion, make-up, donating millions to Covid-19 relief, and dancing awkwardly on Instagram – while work on her ninth album progresses at the speed of a sloth wading through molasses.

In the meantime, she’s taken to trolling her fans about it. Last December, she joked on Instagram the record was ready, but she was “refusing to release it.” When a fan inquired about the album’s whereabouts in May, Rihanna replied: “I lost it.”

Adele’s fourth album appears to be missing in action too. In June, her manager said the record was indefinitely delayed and would be “ready when it’s ready.”

Adele later scolded a fan who asked if the album was coming this year: “Of course it’s not. Corona ain’t over,” she wrote. “Wear a mask and be patient.”

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